Insinuations Read online

  She’d share her findings with Waters, Brannon and the lieutenant tomorrow. Now was the time to get some grocery shopping done to prepare breakfast for her girlfriend. Using this term for Ellie made her smile. I guess we’re there. Time didn’t stop. Their lives didn’t stop. It was something to be grateful for.

  Jordan stopped at the next store on the way, and a few minutes later, shook her head in amusement at the full cart. It might be a bit over the top for a breakfast in the middle of the week, when they would both have to go to work later that day, but after the barrage of catastrophic events she thought they both deserved a small time-out.

  * * * *

  Jordan managed a few hours of a surprisingly restful sleep before the alarm woke her. She’d set the table before going to bed and programmed the coffeemaker so everything would be ready by the time Ellie arrived.

  When she did, she was still in uniform, greeting Jordan with a kiss, but warning her to keep a bit of a distance. “Would you mind if I took a shower first? I came here right away.”

  Jordan gently lifted a strand of her hair. “Is that mud?”

  “Don’t ask. It’s been a long day and a long night. The coffee smells delicious though. I’ll be quick.”

  “Sure. I waited with the food, because…” Jordan laughed, a little self-conscious. “I actually have no idea what you like for breakfast, so I bought a selection.”

  “I can’t wait.”

  “Good. I’ll get you some towels.”

  Minutes later, the sound of the shower came on. Jordan stood, leaning against the counter, a bit nervous and giddy alike at the thought of Ellie, naked, in her bathroom. For once, she didn’t have to worry about painful conversations after a misstep—even if she’d brought that pain on herself, Jordan was aware. There was no need for secrecy anymore.

  Maybe she should take another shower, too, a cold one. After the work hours Ellie had gotten behind her, some food and a soft bed would be all that was on her mind. Jordan could be patient as long as she knew they were on the same page and none of the recent revelations, no matter how dire, would make Ellie run. She was almost certain.

  Ellie emerged from the bathroom with her hair still wet, but mud-free, wearing a white t-shirt and a green skirt. For a moment, Jordan found herself wandering back to the time when she’d first noticed her, sometime in the last year, always occupying that same table in the corner with her friends. A little later, stealing glances. It was hard to tell who had started it. The memory came with an almost forgotten sensation, its intensity startling.

  “We thought it would be a slow night,” Ellie said ruefully. “That was before we got the call about the guy taking a baseball bat to the window of a woman’s shelter. Drunk as a skunk, but he still ran.”

  “Yeah. They always do. Um…sit down. I haven’t cooked anything yet, because I wanted you to choose, but I can make you decent eggs with bacon. There’s fruit, and Greek yoghurt, waffles…”

  Ellie smiled before she stepped forward and kissed Jordan, the contact not quite as chaste as it had been earlier. Jordan framed her face with both hands, but reminded herself to pull back when she still could.

  “I’m sorry. I’m a terrible host.”

  “What if…” Ellie gave her a speculative look, enough to make her imagination run wild. Everything had been so difficult lately, not just in the past weeks, though those had easily been the worst in her life. Why couldn’t it be easy for once? “What if we postponed breakfast for a bit? How soon do you have to go in?”

  “I…I have a bit of time.”

  “Good,” Ellie said. “I had so much coffee last night, I couldn’t sleep right now anyway.”

  “You’d like to do something else, then?”

  “God, I was afraid you’d never ask.”

  The feeling of giddiness remained, as one piece of clothing after the other fell to the floor on the way to the bedroom, in between heated kisses. It was still quick, and hot, but nothing compared to the rushed encounters they had to make do with when their relationship was still a secret affair. Jordan couldn’t hold back the relieved sigh when they were finally skin to skin, limbs entwined in a messy lustful tangle. There was something good left in her life after all.

  She couldn’t believe she was this lucky, that Ellie had been patient enough for her to make up her mind, until she was brave enough to move on—from Bethany and from the memory of a serial killer’s basement. The thought was fleeting though, vanishing quickly in the heat of the touch.

  “I missed you. I missed this, so much,” Ellie murmured, her fingers warm and confident, their explorations leaving room for nothing but perfect bliss. She placed soft kisses on Jordan’s breasts, closing her mouth around a nipple, never stopping the rhythm of her fingers, until Jordan could no longer resist the tidal wave of sensation.

  It occurred to her that this might be the first time in her adult life that she was in a relationship with someone who made her feel good about herself, in and outside of the bedroom.

  She was more than willing to return the favor. “Just promise me one thing,” she said when Ellie was sprawled underneath her, looking very comfortable, “don’t fall asleep within the next few minutes. I know you came off a double shift, but it’d still make me doubt myself.”

  “You don’t have to worry about that.”

  True to her word, a soft moan came over her lips the moment Jordan parted her thighs gently and started kissing her way downwards, slowly enough to make Ellie squirm. I missed you too, she thought, determined to demonstrate how much. Judging from the sounds above her, she was succeeding. Jordan brushed her fingers over Ellie’s trembling thighs, and then she held on tight.

  Jordan wasn’t surprised when Ellie started crying the moment she pulled her into her arms.

  They could have a time-out, but that didn’t mean they could escape reality forever.

  “I know. It’s been crazy,” she said, stroking a hand down Ellie’s naked back.

  “You could say that.” Ellie gave her an embarrassed smile. “Look at me, doing that again. I’m so sorry.”

  “You’re tired. It will be better with time.” Jordan had to believe that those reassurances were more than idle hopes, otherwise, what would that mean for her?

  “Yeah, I know it will be.” Ellie snuggled close, her head on Jordan’s chest. “So far, I managed not to do it at work, so I suppose that’s a good thing. I hate to be so emotional when everyone else has their own problems to deal with.”

  “True. At least your father isn’t a violent criminal on a killing spree…I’m sorry. I can’t believe I said this. That’s not what I meant. Just because everyone else is having a crappy time, it doesn’t mean that you can’t feel what you feel. I’m sure Kate and Libby understand that. I do.” Jordan thought wryly she hadn’t escaped unscathed from her long-term relationship with a psychiatrist—or maybe it was that she’d had to see too many shrinks lately. “That was a stupid thing to say though.” She didn’t know much about Ellie’s family or the death of her parents, except that it happened a few years ago in a car accident.

  “It’s okay. Not everyone is lucky with their parents. I was.” She sighed deeply. “It’s not about that, really. A lot has happened in the past months. Please tell me it will be over at some point.”

  “It will be,” Jordan promised, kissing her temple, relieved Ellie had given her an out on the subject. “Would you actually like the breakfast I promised you now?”

  “Oh, please. I’m starving.”

  After they had collected their clothes and put them back on, Jordan poured coffee for both of them while she prepared eggs and bacon in a pan, and put the rest of her purchases on the table.

  “Wow. I know I said I was starving, but I’m not sure I can eat all of that.”

  “I had nothing in the fridge—and of course you’re welcome to come by for breakfast all week if you like.”

  Ellie looked pleased at that, understanding that breakfast wasn’t nearly all Jordan was talking
about.

  She had served the food and was about to sit down when something else came to mind. “Wait, what did you say before?”

  “About starving? I admit that’s a bit over the top, but all of this is delicious. I’ll come back tomorrow morning if you’ll have me.”

  “Yeah, no problem. About the intruder?”

  “At the domestic violence shelter, yes. No priors. What do you mean?”

  Jordan leaned in to kiss her cheek before she sat at the table. “See, Waters is giving me a hard time because he thinks Lyman might have been a dealer. Well, he thinks everyone in that neighborhood is a dealer. They all said Mara kept to herself and didn’t date, but what if she was on the run from someone? Maybe she contacted one of the shelters in town. I’ll be tied up all day, but you could ask around later.”

  “Absolutely,” Ellie said, sitting up a bit straighter. “I will have to sleep first though.”

  “You do that. I have to go soon. Hopefully there’ll be some reports on my desk. Would you like to crash here for a bit? I could give you a key, and you come back tomorrow morning.” She realized she might have gone a bit fast when she saw the deer-in-the-headlights expression on Ellie’s face. “I mean…as long as it’s convenient for you. No pressure whatsoever.”

  “No, no, it’s fine. I’ll just go home to change later…and I guess I’ll see you at the station.”

  “Thank you,” Jordan said.

  “Really, it’s no problem. It’s good to check in with the shelters once in a while anyway. They should know that we care.”

  “That’s not what I meant. I mean…this.” She hoped she didn’t need to give any further clarification. Jordan wasn’t sure she could.

  “The world isn’t ugly all of the time,” Ellie said softy. “It’s easy to forget that sometimes.”

  It turned out she had understood perfectly.

  Jordan got up to pour them another coffee as Ellie’s cell phone buzzed once more. She turned around, pot in hand, in time to see Ellie turn pale.

  “What is it?” So much for a time-out.

  “Nothing. I’ve been getting a lot of wrong numbers lately. It’s annoying.” Ellie sighed.

  “Let me see? If they annoy you too much, we can do something about it, you know.”

  “No, it’s not worth it. I’d really love to take you up on your offer though. There’s not enough coffee in the world to keep me awake for much longer.”

  “That’s fine, I need to go anyway. I’ll see you at work.”

  “You will.” Ellie gave her a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, anticipating Jordan’s reaction. “Don’t worry. I’m tired. I’ll need a little time to get used to changing shifts.”

  “Okay then. Sleep well,” Jordan said, pulling her into an embrace before she let her go into the bedroom. She busied herself cleaning up in the kitchen before she got ready to leave, taking one last look into the bedroom where Ellie was indeed fast asleep. One day at a time. That was all they could do for now.

  Chapter Eleven

  Ellie started her shift early so she could keep her promise to Jordan and drop by the shelter. It wasn’t hard to tell that after the incident with Rowan Walker, the inhabitants had mixed emotions about the arrival of a uniformed officer. Their lives were already in upheaval—they didn’t need any more of that. Ellie could sympathize. She was still torn between gratitude for the hopeful progress in her relationship with Jordan—and guilt, because she had taken this time when she could have been with her grieving friends.

  Linda Enders had some interesting information for her. “Mara Lyman, no, the name doesn’t ring a bell.” Her eyes widened when Ellie showed her the picture. “That’s her? I do know her. She came here a couple of years ago, but the hair and clothes were different. She was scared, didn’t want to talk to anyone. She left one night without notice. Oh God. There’s a reason you’re asking me those questions.”

  Ellie nodded. With the stories Enders dealt with on a daily basis, she didn’t need any more explanation.

  “Her ex found her?”

  “We don’t know yet. Did she give you a name, did you file a report at the time?”

  “Someone named Carl,” Enders said. “She didn’t give us much more information, said she didn’t want to put anyone in danger.”

  “Thank you so much,” Ellie said. “I’m sorry I couldn’t bring you better news.”

  She excused herself to call Jordan who was appreciative of Ellie’s report.

  “Waters cannot tell me this is a coincidence. We got Julian’s fingerprints on the heroin found in Lyman’s apartment. It’s the same quality. Now if only someone gave us a last name to this Carl guy. He seems to go by several names too.”

  “Maybe that’s because he is new in town,” Ellie surmised. “He was looking for Mara and finally found her here?”

  “That’s quite the grudge,” Jordan said. “Thank you, in any case. Have a good shift. I’ll see you later?”

  “Yes, but I might not be able to stay long. I wanted to go check on Kate and Libby,” she added quickly when the silence came with unmistakable questions. “I’m glad we…” Come to think of it, she really didn’t need to say it out loud. “If you’d like to make me breakfast again, I won’t say no.”

  “Good.” Jordan laughed. “I bought so much food yesterday, it would likely go bad. At least, I’m starting to figure out what you like.”

  “You’ve known what I like for quite a while now.” Ellie couldn’t help it. The result was immediate. She felt excited that this intensity between them hadn’t wavered now that they were both able to make choices.

  When they first got together, it happened because Jordan wanted out of her relationship, and Ellie wanted to take back her life, any way she could, which included being with Jordan. Everything was different now. This time, their approach was a lot more mature, and Jonathan Darby and his sick fantasies had been nothing but a detour.

  “Thanks. I’m glad to hear that. I’ll see you tomorrow or sooner.”

  “Absolutely.”

  At the end of her shift, Ellie had received three more messages that convinced her she should be looking into the sender sometime soon.

  “Do you still think of that night? I do, all the time.”

  “Why did you try to get away from me?”

  “I still want you.”

  It was highly unlikely that these came from Rhonda. Ellie’s only reminders of her ex were a too big check she paid every month for rent, and her hair color she couldn’t seem to make a decision about.

  After what happened to Jordan, and the latest tragedy in her circle of friends, she’d had little time to care about hair color—a subject for another day.

  “Leave me alone. You have the wrong person,” she texted back to the unknown sender, almost expecting an instant reaction. She’d see if she could trace him, but that could wait.

  After parking the squad car in the department’s lot, she said goodnight to Casey and drove to Libby’s apartment. To her surprise, she saw Kate’s Mazda parked in front of the building. She walked up the stairs, her stomach in anxious knots.

  Nothing would ever be the same. Kate opened the door to her and let her in silently.

  “I am so sorry,” Ellie blurted out. “I should have come by sooner, I just changed to night shifts, and there was so much to do…I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay.” Kate pulled her into an embrace. “Libby and I decided that there was a limit to how many people we could stand to be around for a while. I’m glad you came though.”

  Libby was dressed, but she clearly bore the traces of her ordeal. There had been a fight before gunfire was exchanged. She was lucky to be alive, though it certainly wasn’t easy to feel lucky in her situation. She accepted Ellie’s careful hug.

  “Just don’t ask me how I feel,” she said with a tone lighter than the circumstances would suggest. “That’s still a big no.”

  “I can understand,” Ellie said without thinking, then she shook her head
. “I’m sorry. I know I can’t say that, I have never…”

  “Ellie,” Kate interrupted her softly, a hand on Ellie’s shoulder. “You’ve been through some bad stuff. We remember. It’s not a competition.”

  “Oh my God.” Her voice was suspiciously shaky. Ellie was determined not to lose it in front of her friends who had each been through an ordeal of their own, but those seemed idle hopes. “I swear I did not come here to cry to you. I’m sorry.”

  “That’s okay.” Libby squeezed her hand and motioned for her to sit down. “We were just talking about this. I know it looks bad right now, but we are determined to get through this, and we will. All of us.”

  “Yes,” she said. “I’m all right with that.”

  While the exchange had been hopeful, it had also drained her, and by the time she slumped at Jordan’s kitchen table once more, Ellie felt barely able to see straight any longer. She was curious though about the connections between Mara Lyman, the teens hiding the heroin, and the mysterious Carl.

  “When we find him, we’ll likely have our killer,” Jordan said. “That would be at least something working out—job-wise, I mean. How are the girls doing?”

  “Okay. Better than expected, I guess.”

  In the resulting silence, the sound of her cell phone seemed obscenely loud. “That’s it,” Ellie said with exasperation. “I thought it would be silly to waste department resources on this, but this guy is pissing me off. By now, he should know he’s got the wrong number. Why does he keep texting?”

  “Can I see?”

  She handed Jordan her phone and watched her eyes widen as she scrolled through the messages of the past few days. “There are more than fifty,” she said in disbelief. “Why didn’t you report it sooner?”

  Ellie shrugged. “I didn’t think it was that bad…besides, I had a lot of other things on my mind.”

  Jordan looked a bit guilty at that, but she refused to let go of the subject. “That’s a stalker. Did you notice anything unusual lately, someone following you?”