Indiscretions Read online

  Indiscretions

  Barbara Winkes

  Copyright © 2015 by Barbara Winkes

  All rights reserved.

  This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales are purely coincidental.

  This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner

  without the express written permission of the author except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  For D.

  Chapter One

  It took her twenty minutes to walk home from the bar, fifteen on a good day. Run by a retired cop and near the precinct, the Code 7 was a popular hangout for Ellie and her colleagues. The night was chillier than she’d expected, the thin cardigan hardly enough to ward off the wind. As she walked along the street, her heels clicked on the concrete. Ellie kept her head up high, her gaze straight ahead, even when there where whistles and catcalls from the car passing her by.

  She might have run their license plate the next day to see if she could turn up any unpaid tickets, but tonight, she had too many other things on her mind. Leaving the strip of bars and restaurants behind, she crossed the street to enter a more residential looking neighborhood. Rent was one of the issues to worry about. Her roommate had moved out without much of a notice, leaving her a check to cover her part for one month. Ellie would be able to make do for a while, but she didn’t want to pay that much money for a whole lot of empty space.

  She wasn’t worried about the upcoming evaluation. Her performance reviews had never been anything but excellent. She knew how to do the job, had the skills and the intuition, and the ambition to go further. Ellie liked to hang out with her colleagues after work, but there was no doubt about who held the most coveted positions. They were rock stars. She wanted to be one of them, as soon as possible.

  At the next corner, a man she guessed to be in his twenties came jogging around the hedge, wearing a hoodie, music blasting from his earphones. They came close to colliding, and she nearly stumbled on the high heels she preferred to wear after work.

  “I’m sorry, Ma’am. I didn’t see you.”

  He held up his hands to demonstrate he meant no harm. She shrugged and walked on, thinking that between him possibly being almost deaf and her not paying attention, they’d been equally guilty.

  Another broken streetlight. She sighed in exasperation. So far, all the city had gotten from the new mayor was a lot of promises and budget cuts. This wasn’t safe. She made a mental note to harass somebody about it the next day.

  Ten minutes away from home. She longed for a hot bath and eight solid hours of sleep before her next shift. Oblivion. She didn’t want to waste another thought on the evaluation, having to move anytime soon, or the fact that her hair color was from a bottle because Rhonda had said she preferred blondes. She shouldn’t be thinking about the detective she knew to be in a relationship, but had given her the eye across the bar, either. Maybe it had been Ellie’s imagination, because she’d been frustrated, and lonely, and had too much to drink.

  The gloved hand clamping around her throat came out of nowhere, jolting her out of her mildly unpleasant musings into a disturbing reality. She kicked with her feet, reaching up to claw at his eyes instead of trying to remove the hand. The iron grip eased up enough for her to take a breath. A well placed blow with her elbow, and he let her go, but shoved her hard enough to make her fall flat on her face. He was strong. The attacker had obviously waited for her. He grabbed her ankle and dragged her towards the gate of the nearest house, her knees painfully scraping over the concrete. Still, she struggled to get out of his grip, stumbling to her feet. The man was wearing a ski mask, his eyes glinting menacingly in the dark as he advanced on her once more, wrestling her to the ground. Ellie was sure she was going to pass out when the back of her head connected with the sidewalk, but she remained much aware of the blinding pain. He slapped her, hard. She wriggled under him, trying to bend her legs enough so she could kick him where it hurt. Those heels had to be good for something, damn it. Go for the eyes again. He held down her wrists, slamming down her hands until she was sure some bones had to be broken. Pain. Chill.

  “Stop…struggling!” he hissed.

  Cold sweat. She smelled like fear. Why did all the windows stay dark? Somebody had to notice what was going on, somebody…They both froze at the sound of police sirens, close, no more than a couple of streets away. The pressure eased up, but a moment later, she cried out from the sharp, burning pain in her shoulder. The man disappeared into the night. As the squad car sped around the corner, Ellie closed her eyes.

  * * * *

  Ellie Harding was aware of the looks following her when she walked into the station that morning. She had fervently wished for this moment, and dreaded it at the same time. She wanted to move on with her life, and had told the department psychiatrist so. Over time, her assurances had become more credible, apparently, because she had been cleared for active duty. Kate, Libby, Jensen and Chris came over to greet her at the door for affectionate pats on the shoulder. Her stance had to signal clearly, no hugs. Even Sergeant Bristol joined them. Ellie thanked each of them with a polite smile, waiting for the niceties to be over. No more desk duty, no more visits to the psychiatrist in the near future. She could finally breathe again—at least she’d thought so. Time would tell, but this was infinitely better than staring at the walls in her home and fielding off concerned phone calls or offers to come visit from her friends and Rhonda.

  Frankly, Ellie didn’t think she’d handled herself the way she should have during the attack. She wanted to do the best she could to forget about it altogether, at least the part where it happened to her. Her assailant hadn’t been caught yet, which made it impossible to completely ban him out of her mind, and everyone else’s. He was still out there. He might try the same shit with other women, or had done it before. Ellie wished she’d had a chance to rip the mask off his ugly face. She forced her attention back to the chatter among her colleagues as they headed for roll call.

  Ellie sat with Jensen, starting a bit when her gaze fell on the woman standing next to the sergeant. They were talking in hushed tones. She looked tired, but there was grim determination in her expression. Ellie remembered the flirtatious smile she had sent into her direction that night at the bar, what seemed like forever ago.

  Detective Jordan Carpenter, Homicide, one of the rock stars. Bristol would possibly assign one or more officers to work with her today. Ellie prayed they’d pick her. After her unplanned and unwilling detour from her spotless career, she needed something of a boost. For said career, and maybe, for her ego too.

  “There’s been a breakthrough. This morning, one of the victims was found alive. We are now tracing her last steps before the abduction, and any connections to the other victims. Lori Gleason was reported missing by a friend she was supposed to meet, last seen in a coffee shop in the city center around 10.00 a.m. on June sixth. She remembers the coffee shop, but nothing after that.”

  Despite the warm pleasant timbre to her voice, Ellie could sense the detective’s frustration underneath. Everyone knew the case she was referring to. The first murder victim had been found in the basement of an empty office building, the second one behind a dumpster. The results of each autopsy had connected the two, specific ligature marks, fibers from the same rope, the same choice of torture. Ellie shuddered. She had to remind herself she was here, alive, and what had happened to her was nothing like what these women had endured. She could make a difference. Eventually, they would stop him from ever hurting another woman—the killer as well as the man who had jumped her on her way home.

  “Robbins and McCarthy, you’ll be with Detective Carpenter,” Sergeant Bristol said. Carpenter nodded. “
Those abductions happened within a radius of less than seven miles,” she added. “Seems like our guy is not moving much, but he has been escalating. The first victim was found last fall, the other two within a couple of months. He’s bound to make mistakes.”

  Ellie couldn’t believe what she’d heard. They couldn’t overlook her. Not today. She raised her hand, pleased to see a hint of recognition on Carpenter’s face.

  “The victim you found alive, where was she?” Ellie asked.

  “In the basement of a move-in ready suburban home,” Jordan said. “The owners just closed last week. You get any calls regarding empty buildings, for sale, refer straight to us—and be careful. This is one sadistic son of a bitch.” That was directed at everyone in the room. Ellie felt dismissed, but she wasn’t willing to take it. As her colleagues filed out of the room, Libby was waiting for her, but instead of joining her, Ellie hurried to meet up with Sergeant Bristol and the detective.

  “I was cleared for active duty,” she said.

  “I am aware of that, Officer Harding.”

  “Why am I not working with the detectives today? Is there something in my evaluation that suggests…”

  “No, there isn’t.”

  Ellie was aware of the curious glance the detective cast her way before she went back to studying her file. “You know I was planning to take the exam next year. I could use the experience.”

  “You’ll have the chance to get it, just not today.” His tone was final. “In case you have forgotten, it’s your first day back on active duty. Your assignment is not a punishment.”

  “Sir,” she said tersely and turned to walk away.

  “Are you okay?” Libby asked.

  Ellie wasn’t okay. She wasn’t sure she’d ever be, but she had to keep doing her job. Otherwise, she’d go insane sometime soon. “Let’s go.”

  * * * *

  The day was successful enough, with the two of them arresting a dealer trying to recruit high school kids, answering a domestic disturbance call that deescalated quickly before anyone could get killed. The urge to kill—Ellie could understand it when she got a glimpse at the couple’s desolate life, and she was happy to let Libby make that arrest. She was painfully aware of how close her own emotions hovered under the surface, memories of helplessness and fading bruises that made her want to harm the man. Accompanying the woman to the shelter wasn’t much better, she realized later. Reminders, everywhere, every day. She had to stop it, or she wouldn’t be able to do her job.

  Ellie hated the relief that came with taking off her uniform that night. She couldn’t let him do that to her.

  “Are you coming with us?” Libby asked. Ellie thought this might be a good opportunity for free drinks, but she declined. She hadn’t gone back to the Code 7 since the attack, as if the venue was somehow responsible, and she wasn’t planning on going tonight. A beer at home would do. Libby didn’t try hard to convince her, exposing her conflict. They wanted to welcome her back, but the way her peers seemed to struggle with how to act around her, was making her crazy. It was as if she had taught them something no one wanted to know—they were vulnerable too. They might be confronted with that fact every now and then, but one of their own barely escaping with their own life… you couldn’t spell it out any clearer. Ellie hoped they’d come to their senses sometime soon, because she wasn’t going anywhere.

  “Officer Harding.”

  She spun around to see Detective Carpenter had walked up behind her, ready to leave as well. “Detective,” she murmured, not in the mood for small talk after today’s disappointment.

  “How was your first day back?”

  Ellie was pretty sure making conversation wasn’t the plan here. She was conflicted. Part of her wanted to make sure both Carpenter and Bristol knew she didn’t consider their decision as fair. Another part remembered how Jordan had shown interest back then, at the bar. Ellie needed something flattering, something to tell her life would go on, but the question was, should she take it from someone who was in a committed relationship, more or less? Ellie didn’t know if it was more or less, but she had heard talk about the detective.

  She shrugged. “Same old. I’d been hoping for something different to brush up my résumé, but obviously, it didn’t happen.”

  “I’ve taken a look at your résumé,” Jordan said as they walked along the hallway. “It looks fine to me. You aced every single test and evaluation.”

  “Exactly,” Ellie snapped, but stopped herself before she might say anything she would regret later. With Jordan Carpenter, it was wise to tread carefully. Ellie wanted to work in her department one day. Pissing her off was not the best start.

  “I’m sorry. It’s no one’s fault. I had hoped everyone would treat me the same way as before once I was off desk duty. A guy beat me up on a dark street. That’s embarrassing. It’s not contagious.”

  “It’s neither. I don’t think anyone’s treating you differently. Choosing the officers today was not a matter of preference.”

  “Was the woman able to tell you anything?”

  Her lips formed a thin line. “She’s in shock, lost track of time. She says she never saw his face. He wore a mask the whole time. So we have nothing on that front.”

  Ellie had more questions, but against her will, she was drawn back into her own memories, the time at the hospital, the tests, staff speaking to her in soft tones, regarding her with sympathetic looks. She had hated every moment of it. She had hated being stuck behind a desk, waiting to be cleared for active duty.

  “We are still piecing the details together,” Jordan told her. “We might need some more help. I’ll ask for you.”

  “Really?” For a moment, excitement won over all conflicted feelings she might harbor towards the woman.

  Jordan laughed. “I hope you won’t be too disappointed. The way I see it, if you’re up to going out on the streets, you’re definitely up to making calls and wading through tons of paper. We’ll find you something to do.”

  “Thank you. You’re not going out with the others tonight?”

  “Oh no. I’ll go home for a few hours and try to get some sleep. You should too. I’ll expect you bright and early.”

  “Maybe…you’d like to come have a beer at my place, just one, to wind down?” Ellie was testing the waters. They had arrived at her car.

  Jordan gave her a long look, apparently not opposed to the offer or anything it implied.

  “Another time, I’d love to. Good night, Ellie.” She gave her the sympathetic pat on the shoulder Ellie had gotten from everyone else today and smiled, promise or pretense, it was hard to tell.

  “Sure. No problem. See you tomorrow.”

  Ellie watched her walk away, taking notice of the sway of her hips. “Another time, I’d love to,” she muttered under her breath, imitating her. “Do you prefer blondes too?”

  * * * *

  Ellie hadn’t told the psychiatrist the whole truth, fearing he might reconsider his decision. She wasn’t a danger to herself or anyone else, and she’d proven it today. If she hadn’t been able to make a good judgment call, she might have shot the abuser in the knee—or elsewhere—instead of handing him over to Libby. She might have yelled at the woman who had, halfway on the way to the shelter, wondered if everything was her fault. Ellie had a fairly good grip on her emotions and perceptions, but she had neglected to share with the psychiatrist the vow she’d made.

  From now on, she’d take from life whatever she wanted. She had spent so much time trying to please others, family, teachers, superiors, always thinking there would come a moment when she’d put herself first. She could have been killed, or raped, because of one asshole making that decision.

  Life owed her. Ellie was going to collect.

  Back at home, she ran a hot bath and opened a Corona. In front of the mirror, she stripped, satisfied that there was no physical reminder of her ordeal. She’d have to make a quick trip to the hairdresser sometime soon—the roots were starting to show. Stepping into
the warm water, she sat back and reached for the beer bottle. She cursed Rhonda for talking her into a decision that would drive up the hairdresser costs for months to come, an unwelcome reminder of a bad idea. Ellie took another sip, thinking of what Jordan had told her about the victim, and decided not to fret about hair color.

  Going over the day in her mind, she wondered what Sergeant Bristol would have to say about Jordan’s offer. She figured he didn’t have to know about words spoken in private, or whatever else was in the air.

  With a sigh, she leaned even deeper in the water. A few weeks ago, she would have walked away, stayed out of the guaranteed trouble of hooking up with someone already taken. Somehow, Jordan had gotten into the path of her newly found attitude to life. The thought made her body tingle all over. She closed her eyes, but a heartbeat later, she jumped, on the verge of sliding into a dream with a dark shadow hovering over her. At least she hadn’t dropped the bottle—the last thing she needed was another mess to clean up.

  She wasn’t going to beg, Ellie promised herself. She’d already walked the line by demonstrating her displeasure with today’s assignment, and her eagerness to help out with the detectives’ urgent case. The next move had to come from Jordan, which meant she had to make a decision about how much she valued her relationship. Going for someone willing to cheat might not be the best strategy, but Ellie wasn’t looking for a long term relationship. She wanted to feel good again, at home in her body, if only for a little while.

  Chapter Two

  After waking in a cold sweat for the second time, Ellie decided she had enough and got out of bed at 4:37 a.m. Bright and early enough for you, Detective? She hadn’t meant to, but she had already changed habits. For the longest time, she’d wear heels in the morning on her way to work and change back into them after her shift. Lately, the sound of heels on the pavement made her uncomfortable. She knew it would abate with time. Why not hurry the process along? They might not be able to catch the bastard who had jumped her, but if she could assist catching the killer Jordan and her team were after, it would go a long way towards making her feel safer again.