Spring Fever Read online

  She started, then got up and went into the bedroom, where she opened the suitcase she’d packed only yesterday, wincing at the jumbled mix of clothes.

  Ironing might not be her favorite pastime, but as a measure of delaying the inevitable a little bit longer, it was welcome. When she was done, Rebecca still shuffled papers at the dining room table.

  Maybe an e-mail was the better idea, more room to explain. There was a phone number on the company website. The consulting firm was a small business, so there was a chance she’d get Beth on the phone right away…and then what?

  Callie was ashamed to remember that at times she’d been angry at Beth, who always tried to hide from the torment, never confronted her bullies. Right, like she let Nicole manipulate her even after their breakup.

  Such was the fear game. The bullies counted on the silent bystanders to be just that…silent. She scribbled “The Fear Game” on a piece of paper, then picked up the phone and punched in the numbers. It rang once then someone picked up.

  “Murphy & Simmons Consulting, this is Melanie Garner. What can I do for you?”

  “Callie Bryan. Could I speak to Ms. Murphy?”

  The other woman was silent for a moment. The seconds ticked by. Someone laughed in the background. Murphy & Simmons Consulting seemed like a good place to work.

  “Um…I’m sorry, but Ms. Murphy isn’t in today. Can I take a message?”

  “When will she be back?”

  “Let me see…this week, it’s hard to tell. Spring Break just started, so she’ll check in only sporadically.”

  “Could you ask her to call me back?” Callie asked before her courage would leave her. It would be up to Beth if she wanted to.

  “Of course. Your number?”

  Callie related the information and, for good measure, spelled her name.

  On the other end of the line, Melanie Garner cleared her throat. “Callie Bryan, the writer?”

  “Well, yes. That’s me.”

  “Wow, this is great! We read all the Heart Fever series in our book club and loved it. Is there going to be a new one this year?”

  If I can avoid it. Her adult romance series brought her more sales and name recognition than the children’s books, but somewhere along the line, Callie had decided the latest would be the last. She hadn’t shared this decision with Asha yet, and she sure wouldn’t tell Melanie about it.

  “Probably,” she said. “Thank you. About Beth…”

  “I’ll let her know you called. Are you going to do any readings soon? I wanted to go to New York but couldn’t make it.”

  “I don’t know about that yet, but I’ll let you know when I find out.”

  They ended the call, and Callie shook her head to herself, even more relieved she hadn’t taken that plane. Most likely, very few people in Beth’s life had any idea what she’d been through.

  High school was a long time ago, and that was a good thing.

  * * * *

  After Rebecca left for Roz’s and her group after, Callie took the laptop out on the porch. The nervous energy from the past days and weeks wasn’t dissolved by yesterday’s glorious afternoon sex or the long hours of sleep they’d finally enjoyed.

  As a teenager, she had turned to writing when she’d felt overwhelmed by guilt and shame, not from discovering she was attracted to girls, but from turning away from someone who needed her—or so Callie thought. She’d soon know the truth.

  Back in those days, there wasn’t much reading to find with young adult lesbian heroines, but any fictional girl braver than her would do. She wondered if she could come up with anything for Maggie, who was way ahead of her age when it came to books.

  Callie typed The Fear Game into the document, and that was as far as she could get when the phone rang. She made it just in time before it would have gone to voicemail.

  “Hello?”

  “Callie?” She frowned at her own reflection in the mirror. David already sounded impatient on the first syllable of the conversation. It was the tone he reserved for Callie lately. “Is Rebecca there?”

  “No, she’ll be gone for a few more hours. Did you try her cell? Is everything okay?”

  “As okay as it can be.”

  I can handle impatient. I don’t need sarcastic.

  “So…is there anything I can help you with?”

  “No, thanks. Tell Rebecca not to worry, because I know she will. We’ll talk when I bring Maggie back.”

  “Okay, then. Should I—”

  He hung up, before Callie could finish her question. David was right that Rebecca would be worried. He’d gloated too—because you know her so much better than I do? At least he wasn’t going to break off the trip, which meant he probably just wanted to check in. Callie returned to her empty page, willing to withstand all distractions until Rebecca returned home.

  * * * *

  “Good evening, all. Should we get started?” Reverend Amber Cole asked. “I think we’re complete for today.” Spring Break had visibly reduced the group for this week, as was to be expected. They were five—Mona and Cathy were founding members. Mona was about Rebecca’s age, her story similar. She had teenage children and was married for over twenty years; however, she had divorced her husband prior to her coming out.

  They didn’t know much about Cathy yet, who had a partner but wasn’t out to any friends or family members. Their newest member was Sara, a teenager who had attended for the first time last week. She was a slender, brooding girl dressed Goth style with her hair dyed black. Today, there was a blue streak in it. She didn’t really fit into this group of women, who were determined to find a way to integrate questions of faith and sexual orientation in the face of adversity. The sad thing was, Rebecca mused, that she probably had nowhere else to go.

  Faith wasn’t anything Sara was interested in. She needed to spend a couple of hours each week with people who wouldn’t judge her. Her parents had kicked her out when they found out she was dating a girl from school. She now lived with an aunt who couldn’t care less—about Sara or the fact she was a lesbian.

  Rebecca’s heart bled for her. Sara, only a few months older than Dina, didn’t have the same choices and options the rest of them had at their age. The other girl’s parents had forbidden her to see Sara again, and she was complying.

  Rebecca thought of Callie’s dilemma and her responsibility for her own daughters.

  “My friend is opening a new café in town next month. Maybe you’d like to come by?”

  “I’d like to.” Amber took the flyer Rebecca handed her. “Maybe I’ll even meet your minister. Father Langdon told me a bit about him.”

  “Well, the fact that it’s my friend opening a business will make it a little less likely for him to show up, and you probably don’t want to meet him.” Most of her life, Rebecca thought she had done pretty well with authorities of one kind or the other, but lately, that didn’t seem true. She’d respected Father Langdon, because he was a loyal friend to her and her family. Craig, who used to be the sheriff of Autumn Leaves, as well as Father Reynolds, had chosen to abuse his authority. She didn’t feel obliged to take either of them seriously any longer, even if the latter wasn’t going anywhere.

  “Oh, I don’t know. That could make for an interesting conversation. Anyway, this reminds me. I promised you some work. Could you stay for a bit after the group? I’ve got some ideas for the website.”

  “Sure,” Rebecca said, aware of the sideways look Sara gave her, probably longing for the days when she’d have a job of her own and would be able to determine more aspects of her life.

  “Great. Thank you. Okay, let’s get started. I’d like to hear a bit from all of you. How’s the week been?”

  Cathy shook her head with a frustrated expression. “Knowing I’d come here was the only thing that kept me sane today. I know who I am and how my faith fits into that, but at work…it’s an alternate reality. If they knew, I’d be out in a heartbeat, and I’m thinking that wouldn’t be such a bad idea. I heard so
meone say today how they wouldn’t want their kid to be around a homosexual. It’s not the first time. Some of this stuff is so sick, makes you wonder how they come up with those ideas in the first place. If it wasn’t for the kids, I think I would have left a while ago.”

  Frankly, at first, Rebecca thought Amber’s group would give her some sort of consolation, someone to reassure her that she was on the right path. So far, she had taken away two things—knowing she’d been on the right path all along, and a reality check.

  Leaving David might have forced her to rethink her finances, but to be fair he paid his share when it came to their daughters. They had made some profit from selling their house, and Rebecca was working—if not full-time, it was a job she loved, and that made some contribution to her and Callie’s shared living. She hadn’t worked up the courage to tell her parents she was in love with another woman and had every intention to spend the rest of her life with her, but what could really happen? Rebecca’s mother and father lived in Florida, called on birthdays and holidays, and visited even less often. Rebecca wanted their approval, but in the end, it wouldn’t change anything.

  “I know that hurts,” Amber said. “Sometimes, we still need to keep the lines of communication open. That is the only way people can learn, if they understand that reality is different from what they’ve been fed.”

  “Lines of communication, my ass,” Sara muttered. “They don’t even know she’s gay, so how can these jerks learn anything?” Contrary to everything she had in common with the women in the room, Sara was also a teenager testing her boundaries. Amber, however, didn’t turn anyone away, and she took everyone seriously. “You have a point there, Sara. Everyone is different though, and we should let everyone start that conversation once they feel they’re ready for it, when it’s safe.”

  “When will it be safe?” Sara jumped to her feet, startling everyone. “This is not working. If you want to wait for people to change, good luck, because that’s not going to happen.”

  “Sit down, please,” Mona said. “I feel your pain. I’ve been asking that too. Why it should be up to us, to take people by the hand and make them see we’re not going to molest their children or turn them gay by mind control? Why can’t they see it without a ‘live model’?”

  “Turn the other cheek,” Sara scoffed. “I don’t believe in that.”

  Rebecca wondered what Betty would have to say about this conversation, and if her relationship with her former best friend would ever be the way it was before.

  “It’s not easy to cut people out of your life,” she said. “Even when you know they’re wrong. Although, if they hurt someone I love, all bets are off.”

  Cathy’s gaze met hers, and Rebecca could tell that she agreed on that principle. Lately, and in spite of her own fairly privileged situation, she’d felt like she had more in common with these very different women than with her own longtime friends. Where that left her in the long run was yet to be determined.

  * * * *

  Regardless of the conversation’s serious subjects, Rebecca was in a hopeful mood when she unlocked the front door. The reality check didn’t just come with the realization that she had it good, but also a deep gratitude that she did.

  Callie was still working, but the way she lounged on the couch while balancing the laptop on her knees that was a telltale sign she was about to go into leisure mode. Rebecca dropped her purse, sat next to her, and kissed her in greeting.

  “Did you call?”

  “Don’t you want to take off your coat first?”

  Callie set the computer on the table, indicating her willingness to help with the task. “Welcome home.” Another kiss. “I called the company, but Beth wasn’t there. I left a message with a friendly lady who happens to be a fan of mine.”

  Rebecca laughed. “There are too many friendly ladies out there who are fans of yours.”

  “Maybe, but there’s only one I’m making dinner for.”

  “Um…I made it.”

  “I heated it up.”

  “Okay, I guess that counts.” She got up to pick up her purse and hang her coat. “Did anything else happen?”

  “David called. He said not to worry, and he’ll talk to you when they get back.”

  Rebecca didn’t think she could hide the flash of irritation or worry from her expression. David knew well enough how she’d interpret his words. “I hope Maggie’s doing okay. She was looking forward to the trip so much. That reminds me to look up those prison papers. You’re still online?” she asked.

  The internet browser was still open in the background, revealing that writing wasn’t all Callie had done in the past hours.

  “It’s all for research,” Callie said, sounding like a kid who’d been caught with the hand in the cookie jar.

  “I have no doubts.”

  * * * *

  Beth didn’t call. Callie reminded herself that she had done all she could do at the moment, short of stalking her former classmate. Other than that, she tried to enjoy the time with Rebecca without feeling too guilty about her lapse of reason. It was hard to push the sentiment aside altogether whenever she thought of Rebecca’s expression the moment she came home from the church sale.

  Callie wasn’t perfect, and she had her moments of irrational fears, but—guess what, Nicole?—Rebecca wanted to be with her anyway. Those weren’t the words she chose for her text to Nicole, but she thought they were enough to bring the message across.

  I called Beth. Rebecca knows. I hope that’s all. After that, she called her cell phone provider in order to change her contract and number.

  As her story for Maggie took shape, she reflected on the last days before Spring Break. She hoped the trip with her father and sister would make a difference for the girl. Even though they had assured her that none of this was her fault, Maggie was well aware that everyone in the house suffered sleepless nights, and it weighed on her.

  True to his word, David didn’t call again either.

  While Rebecca was in the shower, Callie contemplated if it was early enough to check in with Asha. Early nights, sleeping in late—she smiled to herself. As far as she was concerned, this could go on a little bit longer. Once the girls were with them, they just had to be a little more discreet about it. Dina would spend a few days with them in Autumn Leaves too.

  “I believe you’re calling me because you have a first draft of Heart Fever number 6. I appreciate it, Callie.”

  After being friends—sometimes with benefits—with Asha for many years, Callie could handle her kind of humor.

  “Remember when we talked about me trying my hand at Young Adult?”

  “No, I don’t remember that, and unless it’s the next Hunger Games, I don’t think I want to hear it. Oh, and no vampires, please?”

  “I see it’s not a great moment.” Callie wasn’t too fazed by Asha’s initial reaction. “I can call you back.”

  “No. It’s fine.” Asha gave a heart-wrenching sigh. “I should have left for home a couple of hours ago. What’s wrong with Sabine and Vanessa? You can write a cute, sappy lesbian romance. No offense, but you’re living one.” She made a frustrated sound before Callie had a chance to tell her every way in which her statement would be offensive had it come from anyone but Asha.

  “Never mind, darling. I’ve been running for too long on too little coffee. You still enjoy that waterbed?”

  “Inappropriate. Yes, I do, and you know I bought it from tax refunds and savings…why am I telling you this? I’m writing a story for Maggie. I think it has potential as a series.”

  “How is Maggie?” Asha asked, in an instant turning the tone of the conversation serious.

  “Doing better. She’s seeing a counselor.”

  “That’s good.”

  “Yes. I just want to encourage her, and maybe I could do the same for other kids. Could you look it over, tell me what you think?”

  There was a moment of silence, then the predictable answer. “Did I ever say no to you?”

>   “Well…”

  “Don’t answer that. Send me what you have. Why is this so important all of a sudden? You know you could just write her a story without involving me? I’m pretty sure the few extra bucks are not the main reason.”

  “Go home. Relax. Have coffee,” Callie advised. “I’ll send you something to read.”

  “I understand. How’s spring in Autumn Leaves, by the way? Nicole isn’t still bothering you, is she?” Another one of the serious subjects.

  “No. That’s over.” Callie hoped this was the final truth. There were no further messages from Nicole after Callie’s announcement that she had, indeed, contacted Beth. Callie doubted Nicole would care enough to try and find out her new number.

  “Seems like things are working themselves out.” Asha’s tone was unusually soft. “I’m happy for you. I’m going to look at your story and get back to you. Have fun with your sappy, beautiful life. You deserve it.”

  Callie cast an unabashed glance at Rebecca who had come out of the bathroom, wearing a silky black nightgown.

  “Thank you,” she said. “I will.”

  * * * *

  Rebecca left a message on David’s cell phone to let him know she and Callie would be home all day, and he could bring the girls whenever it suited him best. She wondered briefly if she should offer to take the dog too, but decided against it. Susan—David’s new girlfriend—would probably take care of him.

  She was thrilled to have both her daughters with them for a little while. Callie made the attempt to reach out to her former classmate, and whatever came from that, Nicole’s presence was finally banned from their lives. Time to breathe—for each of them.

  She reached over to brush her hand down Callie’s back, the naked skin tempting her. Oh, well. David certainly wouldn’t leave before ten. There was time.

  Chapter Three

  The doorbell jolted Rebecca out of a most pleasant dream—a vague continuation of last night’s activities. A dog barking? If she was lucky, it was another dream, and she could get back to sleep for another hour…or so.

  “Rebecca.” Callie stood in the doorway, a somewhat regretful smile on her face. She was dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, barefoot. “They’re here.”