Spring Fever Page 2

“To make sure Nicole couldn’t mess with my life anymore, and to make sure Beth wouldn’t blame me, and neither would you.”

  All of a sudden, the confines of the bedroom seemed too small, the walls closing in on her like the uncomfortable truths, her completely irrational behavior, and the startling realization that Nicole had achieved what she most likely attempted to. Callie got up to walk out of the room.

  Rebecca followed her into the kitchen.

  “You really think I would blame you?” she asked softly. “What do you think it is we’re doing here?”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Did you hear me when I said I love you?”

  After some hesitation, Callie whispered, “Yes.”

  “Did you think I’d take it back, because you made a mistake when you were a teenager?” There was no scorn or judgment in Rebecca’s voice, and yet Callie found all of hers reflected. She turned away.

  “I love you,” Rebecca repeated. “I’m not going to take it back.”

  “She almost died!” Moments ago, she had feared that Rebecca would walk out on her. Now, Callie felt like she was letting her off the hook too easily. “What she needed was a friend, someone to tell her that it didn’t matter what clothes she wore, or how much she weighed. I could have been that someone.”

  “Yes, like every other kid in that class. What about the ones who bullied her? Don’t you think they are to blame in the first place? Most importantly, she didn’t kill herself. In fact, it seems like she has a good life, in the face of those bullies. There is something to learn from that.”

  “Yes. I look stupid either way.”

  “That is not true. It’s Nicole talking, not you. We don’t do this anymore, right?” Rebecca laid a cool hand against Callie’s cheek. “Doubt…be afraid of what’s next…we’re through with that.”

  “I wish.”

  “You could send her a message, or a letter, or even call first. There are people who don’t care to be reminded of high school under the best of circumstances…oh, Callie. I’m sorry. How much was that plane ticket?”

  It wasn’t until that moment that the logistics of Callie’s plan registered with Rebecca. With this turn of events, Callie wasn’t going to obsess about those numbers. The costs of her impromptu, not-so-bright plan could have been much higher.

  “Too much, considering Nicole made me buy it. Well, she didn’t actually tell me to buy it. I want to talk to her at some point—Beth, I mean. I should have done that much sooner, for her, for me. Certainly not for Nicole. I wanted to give a few books and some money for the shelter too.”

  “There’ll be time for that. All of it.”

  Callie wanted to believe it could be this easy. The crazy thing was she could probably still make that plane and, maybe even crazier, she believed Rebecca could read all her doubts. Maybe she could, because some of them were close to her own.

  “You’ll find a way. If, in the end, you decide you absolutely must go, I could come with you—or not, if you don’t want that—but please, don’t scare me like that.”

  “I love you too.”

  It was meant to be an apology as well, because for sure, Callie had as many reasons to apologize to Rebecca as she had with Beth. For a moment, they held each other’s gaze. Callie thought she must have looked ridiculous after all that crying, but still, Rebecca’s expression held nothing but the affection she had struggled to admit…not anymore. If Rebecca could come this far, so could Callie.

  The kiss was soft and gentle at first—affirmation—but it wasn’t enough. They hadn’t talked much about the freedom David’s trip with the girls would allow them. There wasn’t much time to talk about anything. With the secret no longer between them, Callie felt like a barrier had been torn down. She didn’t want any barriers between them anymore—not even fabric.

  “You must think I’m so weird,” Callie mused.

  “I think that you’re up there with the best things that ever happened in my life. If that’s weird, I’ll take it.”

  The way to the bedroom was littered with clothes within moments, and this time, there would be no nap or addressing of heavy subjects.

  A few hours ago, Callie wouldn’t have imagined this happening.

  Spring in Autumn Leaves had officially begun, and she was feeling the fever…of the good kind.

  * * * *

  Rebecca could see herself in this same bedroom—so nervous, she nearly tripped over her own feet, not knowing where to look, unable to face this beautiful woman. Unable to face the fact that she thought of her as beautiful, and that this woman desired her.

  She had overcome that hesitation, but after months of living in this house, and the drastic changes in the real world, intimacy still came with a sense of wonder. It was such a cliché—the story of the late awakening—but for her, it was true.

  Underneath her, Callie shivered at the soft brush of Rebecca’s lips against her neck. Rebecca spent a little more time with the same spot, her hand tracing the shape of Callie’s body, her shoulders, her breasts, down to her hips, and caressing the inside of her thighs. She couldn’t get enough of the feel of warm skin or Callie’s obvious appreciation. Neither of them would go anywhere today.

  They’d address the questions that came with Callie’s almost escape, no doubt, but for this afternoon, there had to be a place where the outside problems couldn’t reach.

  Here in the sunlit bedroom, just the two of them, it was easy. It startled her how easy it was to lose herself in the pleasure of being with the person she was meant to be with—even when her experience was limited. It wasn’t so limited anymore.

  The warm, yielding surface of the waterbed slowed down each movement to a sensual pace, the rhythm of her fingers. She placed a string of kisses down Callie’s body, taking her time.

  Callie trembled, and Rebecca wondered if she felt the same anticipation taking over her body and mind. She didn’t plan on disappointing her. She’d make sure in any way she possibly could that Callie wouldn’t regret turning around.

  When Callie’s hands tightened in her hair, she was pretty sure she’d succeeded.

  Callie pulled her up for a kiss moments later, wedging her hand between their bodies. Rebecca gasped, startled and thrilled at the feel of Callie’s fingers pressing into her. It might be the emotional overload or the inappropriate fantasies she’d had in church earlier, but with her turn, slow and sensual wasn’t going to happen.

  She closed her eyes as the climax took over her body, pleasure flooding every corner of her mind.

  It was so much better without the guilt.

  * * * *

  When Rebecca woke hours later, they lay comfortably entangled in each other’s arms, under the covers, unwilling to let go. The sun was almost all gone. Callie slept on, her hair spilled over Rebecca’s shoulder, tickling her. She could stay forever, except her growling stomach reminded her they had skipped lunch in favor of reuniting and affirming activities. It was probably already late for dinner. There was no time limit for the first time in forever.

  She assumed Callie would want to get some writing done tomorrow. All Rebecca had on her schedule was a meeting with Roz, who wanted promotional material for the café she would open soon, and what Dina affectionately called the “lesbian self-help group” in the evening. No need to rush anything tonight.

  She ran her finger down Callie’s arm in an attempt to wake her gently. Callie barely stirred.

  For a moment, Rebecca wondered if it was selfish of her to keep her from this spontaneous trip to confront the past. Then, she remembered the culprit behind it. Nicole would use anything she could find to make Callie feel bad, because she was petty and jealous. She couldn’t accept that Callie had moved on without her.

  As for the girl in question, now a grown woman with her own family and business, it could have gone—and still could go—either way. Maybe her life wasn’t so happy, and she was battling depression and suicidal tendencies in the present. Maybe she led a much better life than any of t
he cowards who tormented her in high school. Either way, she might not care much for Callie’s need for closure at this moment.

  Rebecca didn’t want Callie to hurt under any circumstances, but if it was unavoidable, an e-mail or phone call might be less damning than a face-to-face encounter. She was saddened to know Callie was convinced their relationship somehow depended on the outcome of that conversation. It didn’t. Rebecca had moments of staying silent when she shouldn’t have—in college, at a neighbor’s party, letting a “joke” slide when it made her cringe inside.

  It was nothing to be proud of, but you couldn’t turn back time. All you could do was learn from it, do better the next time.

  Callie had to understand that whatever Beth’s feelings toward her were, however righteous, they didn’t change anything about Rebecca’s.

  She tried to extract herself carefully from Callie’s hold, with the result of waking her.

  “You can stay a little bit longer. I just wanted to get something to eat.”

  Callie might be half awake, but her indulgent smile spoke volumes.

  “You naughty woman. I was talking about food. It’s been a long time since breakfast, and I’m afraid there’s not much in the house, since we were supposed to go grocery shopping today.”

  Rebecca dressed as she spoke. “Of course, we could sneak out of the house and have fast food. With no kids around, we could use the opportunity.”

  “Sounds good to me.” Callie wrapped herself in the sheet and got up from the bed, but she got tangled and ended up stumbling into Rebecca’s arms. “Whoa. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “No, I mean…thank you. For clearing up that mess in my head.”

  “Any time. I understand the need for clearing things up.” Rebecca pulled her into a close hug. “I know you still want to talk to her, and that’s okay. You should. Regardless of what Nicole says, you’ll put that behind you.”

  “Yeah.” Callie sighed. “I wasn’t thinking. I would have shown up on her doorstep without any warning…not sure she would have liked that.”

  “We’ll figure it out together.”

  Together was what mattered most.

  * * * *

  The diner was almost empty at this time of the day—on Sunday evening, few families in Autumn Leaves would go out, even during Spring Break.

  “I don’t know what happened,” Callie said after they found themselves a table by the window. “I didn’t know what to believe anymore.”

  The events of the day had shaken Rebecca too, which was why, in her own confusion, she had neglected to ask a question that had remained unanswered during their earlier conversation.

  “Nicole hasn’t tried to contact you, has she?”

  Callie’s silence was all the answer Rebecca needed. That was bad news. Rebecca had met Nicole. She found it heartbreaking how difficult it was to break the stronghold of manipulation, but then again, maybe it wasn’t so different from trying to break through a lifetime of preconceived notions. She sighed.

  Callie wasn’t the only one who had a potentially difficult conversation ahead. She had yet to have the talk with her own parents, and she had no idea how that would go. In the household she’d grown up in, there was no conversation about the questions she’d faced over the past months—none at all.

  “She wrote some messages,” Callie admitted, looking at her hands.

  “Is she going to come back here?”

  Callie lifted her shoulders in uncertainty. “I don’t know, but I don’t think so. From the sound of those messages, she’s pretty happy pulling strings from a distance. I just didn’t want you to…I’m sorry.”

  “I know. It’s okay.” Rebecca reached out to touch her arm, a gesture meant to be reassuring and comforting. She was glad to feel Callie relax. “That’s at least something. You can tell her the plan didn’t work. Speaking of any dubious plans…I’ve been thinking about visiting Craig.”

  “What?”

  Rebecca could understand Callie’s reaction. Most of the time, they tried to ignore his existence, as much as that of Matt Weller and Tim Beckett—the two young men who had terrorized her family. “It feels like those nightmares are getting worse, and we can’t get to the bottom of it. Maggie says it’s not about the kidnapping, and the counselor says the same thing.”

  “You think he hasn’t told the whole truth about what happened?” Callie looked alarmed, but she chose to be the voice of reason. “He shot at the ceiling with her in the room—that has to be traumatic. I think that might be enough of a reason.”

  “Yeah, probably.” Rebecca had imagined the scene over and over in her head. It was probably wiser to stay away from Craig.

  “In any case, you can’t just walk in and visit someone in prison. There are forms you have to fill out.” Callie smiled ruefully. “I researched that once.”

  “Of course you did.”

  “Yeah. I never asked, but is he where…”

  “Beckett and Weller are? No. I’d still prefer to go by myself. He’s been a jerk to you too.”

  Callie reached over the table to take her hand. Early on in their relationship, Rebecca would have impulsively withdrawn it—what was so easy in the privacy of their home and bedroom took some more courage in public—but today, she felt relieved. Even with the challenges being far from over, at least there was no doubt in that they were in it together. Together in a way she hadn’t felt in all her marriage. There were times when David, albeit supportive from afar on a business trip, couldn’t help her much with a problem. Others when she hadn’t wanted to bother him.

  All the pressure from the outside forced her and Callie to find different ways to communicate, and to trust. It was working and only making them stronger.

  “Let me know when you decide. It seems like a good plan to make all those critical visits together or not at all. So—” Callie picked up the menu, studying it for a moment, before she asked, “What would you like for dessert?”

  Rebecca couldn’t resist. She leaned closer to whisper, “I’d like it at home.”

  Two could play that game.

  Chapter Two

  The unplanned afternoon nap hadn’t robbed them of any of the night’s sleep. For the first time in their relationship, Callie had tempted Rebecca to stay in bed until 10:00 a.m. on a Monday morning. She doubted it was something Rebecca had ever done in her adult life. As Callie’s old coffee maker sputtered to life, Rebecca walked into the kitchen wearing shorts and a T-shirt. A smile appeared on her face as she took in the table set for two.

  “Yeah, I’m aware I owe you a lot more than that, but I thought I’d start here. I admit I ran over to Delia and asked her for food.”

  Their neighbor, Delia, lived in the house Rebecca had once shared with her family across the street, and graciously helped out after Callie explained their “emergency”.

  “We definitely need to go buy some. I promised her she could come to brunch next time.” If she was rambling, it might be that she was a little distracted by the sight of Rebecca’s long legs.

  “Good strategy. We can go later. I don’t have to be at Roz’s before three or four. I’ll go to the group right after. You want to make that call today?”

  “Maybe.” Confronted with the possibility, Callie felt a little less enthusiastic about it. It was a bad idea to get on a plane and beg a woman she hadn’t seen in almost eighteen years for forgiveness. She wasn’t sure if contacting Beth over the phone was much better. “I don’t know. Maybe I shouldn’t rake it all up again.”

  Rebecca stood next to her at the counter, laying an arm around her shoulders.

  “If you keep thinking about it, maybe you should call her and get it over with. I’m going to check about those prison forms too,” she declared. “The least Craig could do is apologize, so I can come home and tell Maggie her uncle is not a monster, but some thoughtless jerk she doesn’t need to waste a thought about.”

  Callie couldn’t help but smile at the image as she pour
ed the coffee for both of them. “You’re not going to say it exactly like that.”

  “Probably not.” The smile vanished from Rebecca’s face, leaving an expression in its wake that Callie knew well by now, haunted by the fear that she wasn’t doing right by her daughters.

  “Hey. Remember what you told me yesterday? This wasn’t your fault. Maggie is a smart girl. She knows exactly who screwed up, and that we’re all there for her.”

  “I know. I just hate to see her like this. If this helps, I’m willing to waste a few minutes of my life by spending them with him.” Rebecca picked up a croissant from the basket. “Delia is really looking forward to coming to brunch, isn’t she?”

  “Of course she is. You’re like the girls from Sex and the City.”

  Rebecca laughed. “More like Desperate Housewives before you came along. Betty has someone new too. We’re going to get crowded.”

  “Did she say who?”

  “Someone new moving to town. Her husband works with Charles.”

  “I’m not the newest attraction anymore, then. What a relief.”

  Rebecca took a sip of her coffee, considering Callie’s words for a moment. “I’m still very much attracted to you,” she said.

  * * * *

  After over a decade of being a professional writer, Callie knew a bit about procrastination. She had always made her deadline, except one time when a fight with Nicole came close to getting out of hand, and she needed all focus on one task—to make herself pack up and leave.

  That didn’t mean the road to the goal wasn’t paved with distractions every time. Asha, her editor, didn’t know about the long hours and night shifts in the days before the manuscript landed in her inbox on time. At least Callie hoped she didn’t, but she might be fooling herself.

  With the groceries stored away, Rebecca gathered her files for her meeting with Roz. Callie sat at her laptop, Beth Murphy’s company’s Facebook page open on her screen. She clicked through the posts and pictures, wondering what she should tell her. There was a character limit, which served Callie well. She couldn’t ramble too much. She wanted to do this, but she didn’t want to look like a crazy person.