Insinuations Page 12

  “You got any more texts?” Jordan asked when they sat down to eat.

  Oh, for Pete’s sake.

  “No,” Ellie said. “I think they got the message. How did your meeting go?”

  “So, so,” Jordan said vaguely. “I hope to learn something new today.”

  Ellie waited, but Jordan didn’t explain, and they sat in silence for a few moments. She caught Jordan glancing at the clock on the stove.

  “Do you have to be somewhere? I assume it’s a court day? I can let myself out, if you want.”

  “No. No, it’s fine, finish your breakfast.”

  “Okay. Sure.” Ellie tried hard not to be too paranoid. After all, Jordan had a lot on her mind. It would be a while until their relationship would become the normal she was hoping for. They were seeing each other on a regular basis outside of work. At the moment, she couldn’t ask for more. “Would you like to do something on the weekend? Go out, maybe, or order in?”

  “I thought maybe we could reschedule dinner with my parents, Pauline and Jack, I mean. I haven’t called them yet, but I’m sure they’d be happy to see us.”

  “Yes. I’d love that.” She was tired, Ellie reasoned, so it was probably just her imagination that Jordan could be pulling away. She and Bethany had been together for a long time—it was okay to be cautious. Given the opportunity, Ellie would prove to her that she was worth taking the chance. “I can’t wait until the night shifts are over,” she said. “I could cook us something.”

  For some reason that made Jordan laugh. “I’m luckier than I deserve. Sometimes I can’t believe that there’s still someone willing to cook for me.”

  “Well, you’ve made me breakfast every day this week—and I’m willing to do more than that for you, as you know.”

  “Yeah. Sadly, not today.” Jordan stole another glance at the clock. “I’m sorry, but I need to go. Do you want to go home or stay here to sleep? ”

  “Since you’re asking, I think I’ll stay. Have a good day. Can I borrow a shirt?”

  Already in the doorway, Jordan paused and came around to kiss Ellie. “Sure you can. You know where to find it,” she said. “See you.” She left Ellie with the unsettling feeling that there was a lot she hadn’t said.

  Ellie tried to fight her rising worry by clearing the table. Nothing was wrong. Jordan would have told her if there was anything she needed to know.

  She chose a nightshirt from a drawer, secretly thrilled that Jordan allowed such a rather intimate gesture. Besides, her bed was a lot more comfortable than Ellie’s, or maybe that was her imagination too.

  Chapter Fifteen

  The dress code at work was pretty lenient, so you could see detectives in everything from suit and tie to less formal attire, depending on personal preferences and assignment. Jordan preferred casual on most days—not that it happened every day, but in case she had to run after somebody, it was more efficient to do it in comfortable wear. What she was planning today was far from comfortable.

  In order to be successful, she needed to distinguish herself from the perception Darby had, from the woman he thought he knew so well. Her usual court outfit, a dark blue suit, would do. Fortunately, Ellie hadn’t asked too many questions this morning.

  Jordan didn’t want to overdo it either—she was going into a maximum security prison after all, and she didn’t want to draw any more attention to herself than absolutely necessary. As she stood in front of the gates, she wondered if it there could have been anyone to help prepare her for this, if she should have talked to anyone, Derek, the department psychiatrist…Bethany even.

  Jordan guessed that all of them would have told her not to take the bait, to stay far away from Darby, and probably, they would have been right.

  She couldn’t take the risk though. For her sake, or Ellie’s, she wasn’t sure if it made any difference anymore.

  Jordan had hoped for distraction from the disastrous state of things, with her birthparents, at work where everyone was still reeling from the death of one of their own—this was not the kind of distraction she’d hoped for, but so be it.

  Maybe after seeing Darby shackled and in a prison uniform, she could truly carry on with her life.

  Since she had checked in with the prison officials the other night, the warden wasn’t even surprised to see her. Jordan had visited convicts in a maximum security ward before, knew the drill, how to behave. None of those earlier experiences prepared her for the moment they brought in Darby, and her stomach lurched as if she was on an elevator that had been falling a few stories. Stay in the present—at all costs.

  However, Jordan noticed he looked surprised, if pleased, to see her. He was that good.

  Under the table, she wrung her hands together. Her shoulder ached. The screeching sound of the chains being wound up sounded in her ears, distantly. She waited, her heartbeat thundering in her ears.

  “Now I understand why my cell was searched last night,” he said. His tone sounded as if they were two strangers making small talk. He leaned forward.

  Jordan forced herself not to shrink back. There was no way he could touch her—not physically, at least.

  “Are we already doing this, Jordan? Not that I’m complaining. It’s good to see you again. You look stunning.”

  “Cut the crap. You know exactly why they searched your cell. Well, be prepared for that source of yours to dry up, and you better find another hobby.”

  He smiled widely. “It’s delightful talking to you, even though there are so many other things I would love to do…but honestly, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  Time to change tactics. It didn’t matter if she was feeling sick—if this had the desired results, it would be worth it.

  “I know you’ve been writing messages to Officer Harding. Tell me who helped you, and maybe we can talk about…perks.”

  “Perks?” He laughed. “This is fascinating. I didn’t send any messages—how would I?—though I very much resent the fact that you’re still sleeping with her. Don’t you remember any of our lessons? If I had the chance to communicate with anyone on the outside, don’t you think it would be you?”

  That threw her off for a moment. Jordan shook her head with a wry smile. “No, that would be too obvious.”

  “Maybe,” he admitted. “You know that Dr. Roberts told me a lot about you. I’d grown quite fond of her.”

  She suppressed the shudder. That either meant he had imagined Bethany half naked and helpless, or he saw her as a capable sparring partner. At the moment, Jordan wasn’t sure which was worse. “Do you know she once wondered if you were really a lesbian?”

  Wow, Bethany, was her first thought, even though Jordan knew she was dealing with a psychopath for whom the truth was nothing more than an afterthought. She knew Bethany had tried to bait him by telling a story that in fact did overlap with the somber reality between them, but she wouldn’t go that far…would she? Jordan had read her report. There was nothing about this particular detail in it. If Bethany had indeed gone there, she’d made it up—it was impossible that in all the years they’d spent together, she wasn’t sure. Bethany didn’t invest in anything or anyone she thought wasn’t worth her time.

  “Whatever you’re up to, stop. You lost.”

  There was a gleam in his eyes, something she remembered well. “My own Clarice, trying to solve a mystery…”

  “Don’t flatter yourself.”

  “In any case, I’m sorry I can’t help you, Jordan. I admit I didn’t approve of your immoral behavior, but at least you apologized, remember? I believe the police department kept that video for evidence. I remember that moment fondly, and so should you. Harding…I realized soon that she was beyond redemption, so I didn’t have much interest in her.”

  “Not even when you attacked her? Stop lying.”

  He leaned back in the chair, flexing his fingers. Down in the basement, that had never been a good sign.

  Stay in the present.

  “About that, yeah, isn’t
it funny how quickly we jump to conclusions? I assume that in the dark, one guy with a ski mask looks like the other, doesn’t he?” he challenged.

  Something about this exchange didn’t feel right, then again, was it a surprise that being in the same room with this man put her on edge? “You confessed.”

  “Well.” He cocked his head, regarding her, clearly enjoying the interaction. What had she ever hoped to achieve by coming here? “There’s a difference between the truth and hearing what you want to hear, don’t you think? This was the easiest solution for everyone, and frankly, I wanted to make it easy on you. It wasn’t your fault that we got interrupted. The pieces fit together so well. For me, it doesn’t make much of a difference, but you put two and two together and maybe get an idea who’s been sending those messages.”

  Jordan resisted the urge to jump to her feet. That would mean—and would let him know—that she believed him. She wasn’t ready to make that concession yet, and acknowledge all it implied.

  “You didn’t answer my question though. Was Bethany right about you?”

  Jordan got to her feet, slowly, as to not make it look like she was running from the room.

  “Thanks for nothing. You know, it really doesn’t surprise me that a self-appointed moral apostle is a homophobe too. Comes with the territory.”

  “Oh, come on, Jordan, you know that’s not true. I’m not calling the existence of lesbians into question, I’m not that much of a backwards-thinking person. I’m just saying…we got close, didn’t we?”

  She ignored his words and left the room, thinking she might need to have a conversation with Bethany as well—but first of all, she’d have some work to do.

  * * * *

  Calling Ellie was the first order of business.

  “All right…I have to confess something.”

  Ellie sounded guarded. “I’m listening…”

  “I didn’t go to court today.” In the parking lot of a fast food restaurant, Jordan leaned back in her seat, feeling cramped and claustrophobic in the confined space. She reached over to open the window, breathing a sigh of relief when a gust of air came in.

  “Jordan? Are you okay? What happened?”

  “I saw Darby,” she said.

  “Oh no, why did you do that?”

  For some reason, Jordan had been worried Ellie might be angry, but instead there was a sadness in her voice. “His cell was searched. They will monitor him closely, but there was no cell phone, no indication that anyone helped him.”

  “Okay, good. I’m sorry you had to go through this, but you didn’t need to do this on my behalf…” Ellie, intuitive as always, knew of course that this wasn’t about her only. “Thank you for making sure. Are you okay?” she asked again.

  “Yeah. I think.” Jordan laughed wryly. “I’ll live. It was nothing I didn’t expect. If anything, it’s good to know that fantasies are the only thing he gets to get off on now.”

  “So it’s over?”

  “I’m afraid it’s not. He now claims he didn’t attack you that night.”

  Again, a thoughtful pause. It wasn’t hard to read Ellie’s doubts into that. “How do you know he’s not lying this time?”

  “I don’t know,” Jordan said truthfully. “I just think we should take some precautions. Sure, he’s not exactly trustworthy, but he has nothing to gain from this. If anything, I think he would prefer to make me go back, play me—this way, if we have to focus on somebody else, he’s not going to see me again anytime soon.”

  Ellie sighed. “Frankly, I’m not sure what to make of any of this. He confessed. Can’t we leave it at that? He’s a pathological liar, and good at it.”

  “I hate to be such a downer, but…just be careful, okay?”

  “Of course. I’ve got to go,” Ellie said with regret. “You be careful too.”

  “Sure. I always am.”

  Maybe Ellie was right. Darby would jump at any chance to mess with her mind, but the world didn’t revolve around Jonathan Darby, much as he’d like, or Kathryn and Jim Larson. No message from Darla yet. They needed a breakthrough, and after that, it might be time to take some time, and take a good look at her priorities.

  During the slow disintegration of her relationship with Bethany, Jordan had clung to the one thing she was sure of. She could do this job, and she was good at it, something to weigh in against the bad karma she seemed to be amassing. Then she met Ellie.

  Darby took an interest in her, and apparently, TJ Pratt, the wolf in the sheep’s clothes, a cold-hearted killer, was her father—just when she thought it couldn’t get worse. If she decided to take a break, Jordan wasn’t sure what this would look like—from the moment of her rescue, her first and only goal had been to get back to work, now doubts were creeping in steadily.

  When they first met, Bethany’s boss had handpicked members of a task force, including Jordan. Now she considered getting her paperwork done a major achievement. Something was wrong with this picture.

  My own Clarice.

  This wasn’t fiction. She was terrified and didn’t know what to do. It had been bad when she was twelve years old, but it was much worse being an adult and feeling that helpless once more.

  Chapter Sixteen

  It wasn’t the first bar brawl she’d been called to, but this one, Ellie would remember for some time to come. She had a split-second to prepare herself for impending doom before the elbow connected solidly with her face and a moment later, warm blood spurted from her nose.

  The culprit, a man in his mid-twenties, spun around with a shocked expression.

  “Oh my God, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean…wait, I’ll get you a towel.”

  “No, you are coming with me,” Kate objected before she put the cuffs on him. “Hate to break it to you, but your party is officially over. You okay, Ellie?”

  Ellie gratefully took the paper towel the bartender handed her, trying not to make more of a mess than necessary. “I’ll live,” she said. “Get him out of here.”

  The host of a birthday party had found out his best friend had slept with his girlfriend—he was going to propose tonight—and things went downhill from there quickly. The owner of the bar had called 911, and here they were, trying to sort out the chaos. Ellie believed the man when he said he hadn’t meant to hit her, but that didn’t make her any less pissed. At least nothing seemed to be broken.

  “There you go.” Kate appeared again, out of nowhere, with an icepack. “Now, this was something else.”

  “Yeah.” Ellie sighed. She looked around the broken glass and furniture. “At least we don’t have to clean this up. One hell of a party.” As she glanced back to Kate, she was surprised to see her friend cracking up with laughter. “I’m so sorry, I know this isn’t funny, but—”

  “I get it. It’s a little funny when you’re not on the other end of it.”

  Kate still couldn’t help herself, holding her belly, tears glistening in her eyes. “It’s silly. Really, Ellie, I’m sorry. I haven’t laughed like this—or at all—since…”

  “I know.” Ellie laid an arm around her shoulders. Now that the fight was broken up and everyone involved was waiting for the ride downtown, they could leave as well. Kate wiped her eyes, her expression perplexed as if she still couldn’t grasp her reaction.

  “It feels good,” she said wistfully. “I wasn’t sure if I ever could—or should feel that again.”

  “You’ll be okay. It takes time.” Even though you’ll never be the same again. Between the two of them, they knew that those words, spoken and implied, weren’t just platitudes. She was anxious about meeting Jordan later. Ellie still felt uneasy about the fact that she’d gone to see Darby on her own. Not all coping strategies were helpful, and she had the impression it might be a little early for this confrontation. There hadn’t been any more texts. It wouldn’t have been necessary.

  She wanted to believe that Darby was not behind the texts. However, when it came to the attack, Ellie couldn’t wrap her mind around the idea that th
e perpetrator was still out there. It wasn’t possible.

  “I meant to ask you something,” Kate said when they were back in the car. “Libby will come back to work on Monday. I was wondering if you’d like to hang out after our shift, just a couple of drinks…” She shook her head. “I already feel guilty just saying that. It’s not like we have a lot to celebrate at the moment, but I need to do something other than stare at the walls.”

  “I understand. Sure, Monday night is fine. I’m glad Libby is coming back.”

  Lately, Ellie had spent most of her free time, if not sleeping, with Jordan. She was happy with that, but she also knew Jordan felt crowded easily. Ellie wanted to be there for her without becoming too overbearing like, for example, Bethany.

  She wasn’t going to make the same mistakes.

  She wasn’t ‘the other woman’ any longer. Ellie knew she had to do better, and she might as well start by giving Jordan some space.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Jordan decided it was time to leave—her desk hadn’t been this tidy in a long time, and there was nothing much left for her. No message from Darla. Rationally, she knew no one was questioning or rejecting her, yet she felt off, not belonging. The feeling was familiar, if not in her work environment.

  She was about to drive home, but decided otherwise and took the street to the city center. On the way, she passed the All Colors, a bar where Darby had stalked his victims. His agency. There was a ‘For Rent’ sign in the window.

  She might as well squeeze all unpleasant necessities into one day. Jordan had read the reports, knew what Bethany had been trying to do, and she didn’t blame her, even though the plan had spiraled out of control. Darby’s MO was to punish women he thought to have questionable morals—as in cheating, and he’d offered his services to angered partners of the not so much better half gone astray. Jordan, in his mind, could use some behavior adjustment as well.